Birthday Poem               12-7-97               10:08 P.M.

Tonight it's all for you…

Let the music caress your ears
      like I caress the back of your neck.
Let the moonlight coming through the window
      reveal all that we've been keeping inside.
Let the silk of the sheets
      slide against your silky skin.
Let the taste of your lips
      linger on mine once again.
Let my arms wrap around your body
      to hold you so tight.
Let my hands run through your hair
      and not stop just there.
Let me know how you want it
      so I can do everything right.
Let me know how you need it
      so I can love you all night.
Let my warm breath
      warm your soft skin.
Let my hands trace your body
      to get to know you better.
Let me give you a night of fantasy
      Something you can always remember.
Let my thoughts of you
      turn into dreams come true…





Windmills               1-7-98               2:28.06 A.M. to 2:38.01 A.M.

Windmills
spinning round and round.
I keep on walking my way out of town.
A class ring clenched in my fist
and a young girl on my mind.
I remember what she whispered
and that look in her eyes.
I can see what she's wanting,
what she's been keeping inside.
I know she's been hurt before-
good intentions for a boy who's too wild.
But I'm not about that.
No hit-and-run.
No one night stand.
I stand before the sunset
with an oath on my lips:
To never hurt the ones I've loved,
even after she's walked away.


                  "Love is a luxury of the innocent,
                        so sought after by the scorned,
                        so elusive to the jealous,
                        so all-encompassing to those enthralled,
                        so fulfilling to those who were once so lonely…"





Dive Into The Waters               1-8-98               12:32.45 A.M. to 12:42.16 A.M.

          I watched the clouds past my periphery. I don't know what I was staring at, but when I blinked nothing changed. Time was passing and life was passing me by. I listened to the lies on TV- they candy coat life to please the masses. It's a mental escape, not a mental challenge. Brain fodder, not brain food. I listened to my neighbors fight, and winced as I heard yet another door slam. I was like that once. We were like that once. I cried for awhile, but misery and heartburn both pass. I thought about sleeping for awhile, but I was afraid that I'd wake up stoned in a trailer park in Ohio. Why resist the urge to push the envelope? Why not dive into the waters instead of just dipping in a cautious toe? The blank wall stares back at me, and when I blinked only the lava lamp's fluid motion had changed.


      "It wasn't what she said- it was the tone of voice she used. She should've been angry or sad, not numb. Her flat, unwavering voice had a sense of detachment, like she had stepped out of herself to say what needed to be said. Was it in acceptance, or resignation?
Either way, it sucked."


      "I'm sorry if I appear to be damaged goods, but it took two of us to tear down my pride, and my only contribution was letting it happen…"





Bell Curve               12-16-97               12:54.04 A.M. to 1:06.21 A.M.

They taught you to add two plus two
      when you should've learned to solve all the problems.
They taught you to imitate
      when you should've learned to create.
They taught you to watch
      when you should've learned to observe.
They taught you to listen
      when you should've learned to speak out.
They taught you to be realistic
      when you should've learned to hope.
They taught you to take the loss
      when you should've learned to make the best of the situation.
They taught you to criticize
      when you should've learned to make things better.
They taught you to recognize failure
      when you should've learned to acknowledge progress.
They taught you to blame
      when you should've learned to resolve.
They taught you to depend
      when you should've learned to be self-sufficient.
They taught you to attempt
      when you should've learned to succeed.
They taught you to fit in
      when you should've learned to stand out.
They taught you to accept
      when you should've learned to dream.
They taught you to climb
      when you should've learned to fly…





A Gift of The Flesh               1-20-98               8:23.04 P.M. to 8:35.36 P.M.

I'm dreaming about you again.
I run my hand through my hair
and imagine tracing your ears
with my fingers then grasping
your hair as my lips come to
yours, which come to mine.
I see your eyes
and in them I see
your desire.
A desire matched by mine.
I pull you close to me to
feel your breasts push against
my chest and my hands
about your waist and your
heart in my head.
I want to leave you tired
and naked in my bed.
Too tired to sleep,
too content to move.
I'd be nursing a sore
leg from an attempt to perform
a move fit for a gymnast
trying to push
harder and deeper, driven by
a desire
to make you come hard.
I want to wrap you in my arms
like I want to get wrapped up
in your legs.
I need an excuse to get you alone.
I need a reason to show you
everything.
And give you more.





Hypothetical Question               1-24-98               11:43.06 P.M. to 11:52.38 P.M.

Where is the line drawn?
And when do you turn the page?
Starve the body to better see the soul.
Watch the room blur,
then grow all too clear.
Wear the scarred pride
like a badge,
not a scarlet letter.
I lived the past
and it took its toll on me.
I still breathe
when I laugh,
when I cry,
when I'm careless or careful.
It's dark outside
and darker still
on the inside.
Step into the water.
Does it make you wet?
I'm just asking because I need to know.
If I questioned,
what would you know?





Perfect World of Mine               1-25-98               11:57.14 P.M. to 12:08.18 P.M.

I've always wanted to ride a train,
but I've never had a reason to.
I've always wanted to see the ocean,
and when I finally did, I knew it would be a long time before I'd see it again.
I've always wanted to chase the sunset,
but it grew dark each night so I went home.
I've always wanted to mean more,
but my words are just letters on a page.
I've always wanted to live a fantasy,
but luck and hormones are never both plentiful.
I've always wanted to take you in my arms,
but you're unaware of my desires, and this is no perfect world of mine.





Refuse to Think               1-25-98               12:41.44 A.M. to 12:56.14 A.M.

Focus.
Ever realize that everything is how you see it?
            How you smell it?
            How you hear it?
            How you taste it?
            How you touch it?
And just as importantly,
            How you think it?
You can ignore it all you want,
but you mind records what your senses perceive.
Your senses mingle to grant you awareness.
When you refuse to touch,
            you miss out on the texture, soft or rough.
When you refuse to taste,
            you waste away from starvation.
When you refuse to hear,
            you miss out on the music, as well as the noise.
When you refuse to smell,
            you deny perfume its power.
When you refuse to see,
            you are dreaming or lost in the dark.
When you refuse to think,
            you are dead.





Under Construction               1-25-98               1:26.12 A.M. to 1:53.08 A.M.

I let music be the window to my soul.
Children grow older.
Evolution is a process.
I have walked many, many miles.
The movie screen is a reflection of dreams.
The moon does not shine- it only reflects.
It takes more light to see color than black and white.
Even the animal called man can be hypnotized by headlights.
Freedom is never free.
Chains are physical, limitations are mental.
Dinosaurs aren't extinct, they are chickens.
Why do we feel that simply touching greatness will diffuse some to us?
Violence is a means to an end- all of ours.
If a photograph can steal your soul, does a video camera suck your spirit dry?
Can religion ease the pain?
Lost arts might help us appreciate our past… and future.
More time should be spent on massage.
Why does the world cater to the maniacal and those who have lost their drive?
It is the possibility of going over the edge that forces our growth.
Pleasure and boredom are too often the excuses for violence.
Maybe we should build less bridges and learn how to swim.
Could understanding help us escape from ignorance?
How do our feet know where the next step is?
We haven't explored enough of our world, our bodies, or our minds.
Against all odds, I dream in color.
When you fight to the death, you must be prepared to be killed.
The road less traveled has more dead ends and is usually under construction.





Your Lover's Name               1-29-98               7:01.42 P.M. to 7:13.24 P.M.

There comes a moment of understanding.
When your heart is laid bare.
When you confess your dreams and desires.
And they are both your lover's name.
      There comes a time when love overwhelms.
      When your coyish advances dance with another's.
      When an embrace lasts forever.
      And two hearts beat as one rhythm.
There comes an eternity of commitment.
When trust has no need to be questioned.
When vows are more than a ceremony.
And a ring stands for a life-long love.
      There comes a moment of contentment.
      When you can both laugh about anything.
      When you remember good times and make more of them.
      And your lover's name is on your lips
            And always on your mind…





Come no closer               2-5-98               1:24.14 A.M. to 1:31.50 A.M.

          I saw the prom queen crying. "Come no closer," she whispered from the window of some boyfriend's car. And I could only wonder what could take a beauty and make her cry. What could take years of friendship and make it die? I took her hand and we danced in the parking lot for hours it seemed, but only for a few minutes in reality for her boyfriend returned with some food in hand. He told me to go away. "Come no closer," I whispered as I made a fist, and returned his unwanted advances upon this innocent girl with a punch to his chin. He left in frustration. The prom queen kissed me and then walked away. She said sometimes trust and friendship are sometimes better when they are like planets that almost collide, yet come no closer. I cried over falling stars, and they matched the tears in her eyes over unfulfilled expectations and missed chances.





Good-bye, I love you (Good-bye)                2-5-98               1:33.29 A.M. to 1:50.38 A.M.

After seven years of friendship.
After three and a half years of marriage.
We were husband and wife,
but she wasn't my friend anymore.
The things unique to us when we came together,
remained unique to us when we went our separate ways.
We grew older, not together,
and that just wasn't enough to justify staying together.
Young love doesn't guarantee anything.
Not one damn thing.
I can only hope I walk away stronger,
because I know she did.
It may not have been the right thing to do,
but that made it no less necessary.
What is friendship?
What is love?
Where do all the regrets fit in?
It may be that the only thing I did right as a husband was let her leave to be happy-
even if it wasn't with me.
Good-bye.
Good luck.
When I look back I'll see the good times,
playing out at the park,
and cruising in Lincoln,
and our first apartment,
and the songs on the radio,
and the times we laughed,
and our wedding day.
I might not see the arguments as clearly,
not out of ignorance,
but because the angry words and thrown food are all best left in the past-
where they belong.
Yes, I will remember how I loved you.
Yes, I will remember how I made you cry.
I'm sorry for what I did wrong.
I forgive you for what happened.
It took your leaving to get me to realize that.
It's not that I don't care or that it doesn't matter anymore-
maybe you did what was right and I just couldn't see it.
I'm sorry if for the last three years I've kept you from happiness-
I just didn't want to lose you.
But I lost you such a long time ago.
It just took me awhile to let you go.
Good-bye.
I love you.
Good-bye.





Dwell on Today               2-7-98               3:40.43 P.M. to 3:45.41 P.M.

In this world…
            what have I seen?
I closed my eyes and dove into the water.
            Was there a hand to reassure me?
            A kind face to steer me back to home?
There was all this and more.
            The stars winked at me in my folly.
            Or was it to light my way?
No fog on my horizon.
No clouds on this sunny day.
            It might have been a prayer or a plea.
            Either way I made it through another day.
Tomorrow still calls me forward.
Even when I tend to dwell on today.





Take It To The Edge               2-7-98               4:52.39 P.M. to 4:58.49 P.M.

Was it everything you expected it to be?
Did the wind whip through your hair?
Did the images blur past your vision?
Was your head spinning?
Did your soul try to scream out of your skin?
"What you gave me..."
Did it overpower?
Was your flesh something new to devour?
Was it a slap to the face?
Did your stomach churn from a thousand foot drop?
Did your body tremble?
Did your senses reel?
Could you lose control?
Could you dare to feel?
Did you wake up with a bad taste in your mouth?
Did you feel drained to the point of being empty?
Were you ripped of everything?
Or left broken and numb on the shore?
Did you take it for granted?
Did you ask for more?





Jonathan Grimm Day (June 13^th)                2-9-98               10:10.50 P.M. to 10:21.17 P.M.

There will never be a national holiday for me.
People will never get a day off in my name.
      I am no founding father, no freer of slaves.
      No Washington; No Lincoln.
      No Martin Luther King, Jr.
      And certainly no Savior.
My words are not the voice of the people,
but the voice of a single man.
            My day is not to celebrate winning a war,
            or to remember those in them.
            Not to give thanks.
            Not a reason to dress in costume to get candy.
            Not a day of Independence.
      My day is only special when it falls on a Friday,
      and even then it is only for bad luck.
But my day is special to me.
I first saw the world on this day,
and on that day the world first saw me.
      Even though it may well be celebrated after I'm gone,
      I'd rather it be celebrated while I'm still here.





And Every Time               2-14-98               5:11.14 P.M. to 5:19.50 P.M.

Every time I look up at the sky
I wonder what it would be like to fly.
And every time I see a pointless fight
the newsman uses sports and the weather to end another night.
And every time I see the unscalable wall someone's facing
I see kids out on the open road- and they're racing.
And every time I seem to regain my pride
even when I've crashed and burned on the inside.
And every time I see someone who is lost and alone
I hear a plea on TV for the poor and homeless- just pick up the phone.
And every time the world gets wracked by flood and fire
I see some new hero with a generation of kids to inspire.
And every time I lose direction and hope
some friend ties a knot at the end of my rope.
And every time I get tired of the push and shove
I see another young couple caught up in love…

I Suppose               2-15-98               1:25.05 P.M. to 1:38.52 P.M.

How am I supposed to make love
like I used to with you?
And how am I supposed to say goodbye
when I thought without you I'd die?
And how am I supposed to not curl
when everyone asks, "Hey, where's your girl?"
And how am I supposed to deal
when you're not here to help me feel?
And how am I supposed to accept
after all those nights we slept?
And how am I supposed to cope
when all I want to do is mope?
And how am I supposed to heal
when you say it's no big deal?
And how am I supposed to go on
now that you're long gone?





Just Thinking               2-16-98               10:49.09 P.M. to 11:02.19 P.M.


          "Is it wrong to base your future on someone else's past?"
"I forgot to do something, and that was kiss you goodbye."
          "A thousand nightmares flash in the blink of an eye,
            and six hours of restless sleep is an eternal torment."
"To taste a cherry is to steal a chastity belt's key."
          "Wisdom lasts for ages, outlived only by stupidity."
"Coming to terms does not guarantee forgiveness, only acceptance."
          "Loss is a curse upon those who possess."
"Oaths and expletives are only words."

"…Love is a sickness, requiring constant attention, bedside manners, infusions of attention, occasional vaccinations through flings or affairs, and a careful watch to make certain that it does not kill you, and even in remission, a new outbreak can be just as devastating as the previous one…"

"To a blind woman, even a black rose smells sweet;
  To a blind man, all women are beautiful."
          "A woman's touch has always gotten men into trouble."
"If only emotions were as constant as the tides."
          "Why are we content to live unfulfilled lives?"





Another Taste               2-18-98               1:19.54 A.M. to 1:36.39 A.M.

I want another taste of you.
I'll ignore the high heels and the smell of wine.
Even when we fumble and don't know what to do.
In the end everything works out just fine.
We try to escape a life that's too dull.
You make my world spin when you flirt.
I may not be a sinner, and you're no angel.
But you always slip on like a favorite shirt.
I want to get lost in you some more.
Spend more time at home, not out at the bars.
Show you that loving is more than a score.
Hold you in my arms and count the stars.




            "Love endures in the heart of a rose and the gleam in a woman's eyes."



            "I disagree with those who say that reality is all in our heads.
              If that were the case, I would have thought you out of my life long ago."



      "Anyone who has ever loved has known the look you give me."





Everyone Stumbles               2-22-98               12:18.29 A.M. to 12:27.37 A.M.

          Another day to pass the time, bored as hell and trying not to whine. Started a little fire, trying to burn away a past that refuses to fade. Excuses maybe, but the sun still went down. Feel my heartbeat when I'm calm, feel my mind racing when I'm locked in the dark. I questioned the silent phone, it just sat there and left me alone. I hear the traffic outside my window and wonder what's passing me by. Butterflies and a masked man on the TV screen, and another day of chocolate milk, French silk, boxer shorts, quips and retorts. I try not to laugh, I try not to cry. I wonder if riding the fence is slowly making me die. No dancing in the rain, and no angels in the snow. I went for a walk and never left the living room. After twenty some odd laps I crashed on the couch. Why is this not working? What's the point, anyway?
          Now it's dark and the only thing that's changed is the music on the stereo.
          Staring at the ceiling and climbing the walls, everyone stumbles, and everyone falls…



"I saw lipstick on your cheek, and wondered who rumpled your hair.
            Then I saw that girl leave, a girl I thought cared-
Not for you, but for me.
            If there's a fool in this play, I guess that's the part I'll be."





B-Movie               2-22-98               2:03.41 A.M. to 2:13.07 A.M.

Making movies in hotel rooms.
Cheap wine and cheaper perfume.
A Gideon Bible and basic cable.
On the bed and on the table.
Someone was taking pictures.
Someone was skimming the scriptures.
You wore a pretty dress.
Acting damsel in distress.
Wasn't there supposed to be a plot?
Or didn't anyone give a second thought?
Cheesy music on the radio.
The bed creaked to an even flow.
Was the lighting all right?
Two in the afternoon or two at night?
Too much makeup like a twelve-year-old girl.
Some other guy gave you a whirl.
Another blinding camera flash.
No, baby, you're not trailer trash.
Funny how it pays the bills.
But your empty soul never fills.





Shadow of the Symphony               2-22-98               2:18.23 P.M. to 2:28.54 P.M.

Sitting at the piano trying to compose.
But I don't know how to play, or even what to say.
Found pine needles in the carpet from two Christmas's ago.
Last year had no tree from lack of need.
Now it's almost spring and still feels like fall.
Didn't miss the winter one bit at all.
The sticker said authentic wood grain finish.
Just particle board with a pretty fake cover.
We're all just good and bad chips under pressure.
Putting our authentic fake face on every morning.
Who turned the lights out on the ball in Times Square?
Another year of darkness and despair.
Hard to make sense of it all.
When it just doesn't matter at all.
Just notes scribbled on another page.
A shadow of the symphony in my head.



"The birds know all too well that flight is tiring, and even though they take off into the wind, it is foolish to attempt to buck the headwind all the time, especially when there is often a tailwind to coast on."


"Audacity makes stars out of assholes, and only martyrs made a living out of being humble."

"Someone once told me: 'Women give sex for love and men give love for sex.' I used to think it was just an opinion, but lately I'm beginning to think it's a statement of fact."





What's Your Name?                2-27-98               7:40.42 P.M. to 7:51.42 P.M.

What's your name?
Are you "happy"?
Are you "lonely"?
Are you "too polite"?
Are you "the next"?
Are you "the one left behind"?
Are you "an excuse"?
Are you "taken for granted"?
Are you "the Mister"?
Are you "the wife"?
Are you "the one on the side"?
Are you "a piece"?
Are you "a puzzle"?
Are you "lost in the shuffle"?
Are you "the one who's too loud"?
Are you "angry"?
Are you "sad"?
Are you "the boss"?
Are you "unappreciated"?
Are you "the villain"?
Are you "the victim"?
Are you "a minority"?
Are you "prejudiced"?
Are you "the name caller"?





Astrologer               2-27-98               9:28.29 P.M. to 9:35.50 P.M.

          I spend more time lying on the floor with my feet up on the couch. I stare at the ceiling and listen to the music. I wonder if I would have been born in a different age if I would have found myself lying in an open field, scanning the stars for constellations. Would I have made stories of the lights in the night sky? Your perspective of the world, and everything else for that matter, changes when you alter your point of view. On my knees, the world is that of a child, now if only I had the naïve curiosity of that age. Back on my feet, the world is how it always is. It's funny how you don't notice how close the ceiling is, or how far down your feet are, or how far away those stars are in your imagination.





Another Restless Night               3-1-98               12:50.24 A.M. to 12:57.10 A.M.

She talks in her sleep sometimes.
I wonder who he was
and what he put her through.
I turn on the lights
and take her in my arms.
I try to comfort her.
That desperate look in her eyes when they finally open-
What can do that?
She cries for a while.
She doesn't want to talk about it.
She never does.
I tell her everything is okay now.
I tell her everything will be all right.
She drifts back off to sleep.
I wish I could forget as easily.
I reach to turn the light off,
and the last thing I notice is her white knuckles
on the hand clenching her pillow.





Scattered Thoughts               3-5-98               11:20.31 P.M. to 11:29.18 P.M.

" 'Come with me,' she whispered in my ear.
   We walked so far to hold each other near."

"Who is holding your happiness for ransom?"

"You will never find happiness in the bottom of the bottle,
   though a little can be found by throwing one aside instead of down the hatch."

"Sometimes you have to do things not because they really need to be done,
   but just to prove that your imagination still works."

"Creativity enlightens the norm."

"The seasons pass far too quickly for us to dwell on rainy days."

"Alpha and Omega- the beginning and the end."

"Even when a journey comes full circle, you must realize that even though you appear to be
   'back where you started', you have a lot more experience than when you were there last."

"A photograph is a memory forever."

"Words can be erased, but their imprint remains."

"Everyone is a hero who can write their own history."




Kindred Spirits               3-7-98               10:00.40 A.M. to 10:10.53 A.M.

We're kindred spirits, you and I.
Proud once, now angels fallen from the sky.
You've seen my wrists, so you can't say I don't know your pain.
I've been through lonely times, and we're getting reacquainted again.
Relationships always blooming bright, then shrinking.
Set sail on a pleasure cruise, that's suddenly sinking.
In this thing called love they say anything is fair.
But every time I get too close, I find that she's not there.
You're someone special- apart from the rest.
Not afraid to be happy, or show you're depressed.
An open door is all too often used for just passing through.
But I'm turning the knob and holding on to you.
So what if you've had trouble with those who claimed to care?
I may be just the next, or your forever, if we dare.





Come Monday Morning               3-8-98               11:00 P.M.

Every Friday after work I go out and buy a single red rose
to place upon the pillow beside me at night.
By Monday morning, the rose is usually in full bloom
as I toss it into the trash, its duty unfulfilled.
Every so often the man at the flower shop asks,
"So who's the lucky girl?"
I smile and reply, "I wish I knew," then turn and walk away.
"I wish I knew," I say every week,
if this will be the weekend you come to visit, and maybe stay.
There is a rose awaiting you, and a love that won't be gone come Monday morning.





Half               3-8-98               10:52.28 P.M. to 10:56.01 P.M.

If I had half the faith of my grandparents,
I could still bring religion to the masses.
If I had half the insight of my Mother,
I would still know too much.
If I had half the strength of my Father,
I could still carry the weight of the world on my back.
If I had half the compassion of my sister,
I would strive to keep everyone from wanting.
If I was half the man I used to be,
I could do all of this and more.





On The Job               3-10-98               6:53.52 P.M. to 7:04.15 P.M.

          I look around me every day and just shake my head. I am surrounded by people whose fates are sealed. There is no escape, just a change in location. The worst job is whatever you are doing today. I think what depresses me the most is the level of acceptance these people have. Some are frustrated at the fact, some act blissfully innocent, while others realize what's going on, but are resigned to doing the dance anyway. The worst part is when I catch myself going through the motions, and I try to ignore that others probably think that I'm trapped here, too. I sometimes think about the day I will leave this all behind me. It is always a tomorrow that never seems to come. I wonder what it will take to break the cycle, considering all that has happened to keep me in it.
What will be the turning point, and have I already taken it, but just not far enough?



"June 22 1998. The can of Dew I just drank was slated to expire by then.
  I hope this is an omen of things to come."





Let's Just Be Friends               3-11-98               3:06.04 A.M. to 3:14.30 A.M.

I watched it all burn.
Sitting hunched in a doorway
to a life that's left in ruins.
The clock on the wall-
hands turning round and round.
The calendar now on the floor-
what month is it, anyway?
Searchlights out my window.
I reach for the doorknob.
The outside world welcomes me
with thunder and rain.
I use the last of my will
to leave this
life of nothing
behind,
and to enter the storm.
I thought I was part of something-
but something was part of me.
That part is gone now.
It's up to me to choose
to remained chained
   or
to be free.

QOTE-1 (Quotes Of The Evening)                3-15-98               2:05.49 A.M. to 2:45.26 A.M.
[Acts of Love]

"I forgot about how good an actor you were, especially when you acted like you cared."

"Life is more than just throwing back what's tossed at you- we call that a sport."

"I would like to know when the guiding hand of my youth turned into a wagging finger of my adulthood."

"It would be so much easier if we said what we thought and did what we think is right, instead of having to spend so much time debating the details that don't matter."

"Trivialize the trivial, and then move on."

"Since you don't get a second chance very often, try to do it right the first time.
   Failing that, screw it up bad enough that they have to at least let you try to fix it."

"I have met many ugly people in my life, and oftentimes it is rooted in how they dealt with what they had been given, and what they have had to do without, but it is these same things that make beautiful, hopeful people as well."

"A miracle is the acknowledgment of something good happening."

"I try not to qualify something I've done as 'a mistake' right away, it could very well be a learning experience in progress or another means that has yet to reach the desired result- unless I've screwed it up the same way before, and then it's a mistake."

"The obvious is oftentimes overlooked because we demand more reasoning."

"Assumption is the Achilles heel of those in command."

"A locked door turns away both strangers and friends in the night."
          "Knock loudly, my friend, as I am here for you."

"There's nothing like that first chance at second-guessing yourself."

"I'm not aspiring to walk on water, I'm just trying not to drown."

"A hand upon a woman's cheek is a sight I sorely miss,
   almost as much as the uncorking of the desires bottled within."


"Act upon your love, or you will be forced to act from lack of it."






Wake Up               3-22-98               9:49.03 P.M. to 9:52.06 P.M.

          Follow the common thread that winds its way through all things. Give a tug and watch reality crumble around you. The walls press in. The mind screams for release from a skull shattered by banging it against the wall time and time again. Wake up, I scream. Wake up, but you never listen for you are devoid of senses. What good are reflexes when you aren't allowed to feel? What is your response to a question you cannot begin to understand? Feel the wind blow through your hair. The sky grows darker as you think the night grows near, but you are unaware that you are just going blind. Wake up, I scream, but you are already awake, but just too damn far gone to care.





QOTE-2 (Quotes Of The Evening)                3-22-98               9:53 P.M.
[Awareness]

"We all just want to feel good and be entertained, without needing to reciprocate."

"When you go to bed happy, you wake up refreshed. When you go to bed frustrated,
you wake up in pretty well the same condition."

"The sky isn't falling, we're just realizing how close it really is."

"We face birth and death alone- it's living that doesn't require the solitude."

"Make a wish and live your dreams, it's hard to believe life otherwise."

"Perception is an art, as well."

"Man needs to learn to believe in himself, instead of needing to create spirits and gods to
attribute his fortunes to and blame for his misfortunes."

"Time is linear, space is infinite, emotion provides continuity, while death is eternal."

"All the information in the world is worthless to the ignorant."

"Fear produces more than compliments, but not as effectively."

"It is hard to leverage your potential growth considering your past inhibitions."

"Desire is what drives us to do the sweet and the vile."